The day, from dream, has overcome

[This is from November 19th of last year, when you weren't in school but wanted to be, and I was in school and didn't want to be yet was getting okay with it. When things were harder. I am posting it here because: wow. Things were pretty hard then, no? But oh. Look how magical it is now.

Welcome to Life, Irken child.
Report for duty.]

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He was right. I thought. If Aunt Emily with her billions of letters and articles and speeches, her teas and her rage, her friends and her committees -- If all that couldn't bring contentment, what was the point?

I thought I was beyond death.
But in truth I was beyond killing.

Because today I noticed you're dying.
You've been dying for a long time.
I don't know when it started. I hadn't been waiting for it. I hadn't realized I needed to keep watch over you. It seems I do. It seems you need it. I am planning a trip for someone who is dead.

So I figured out how to kill.
Now I need to figure out how to save.
Or figure out if you want to be saved.